Before I could guide women through this work,
I had to live it myself.
My body was carrying a story my mind couldn't outthink.
For years, I carried the imprint of sexual trauma in my body and mind. I was plagued by memories of being molested at only three years old. My mind completely detached from my body as I watched my fourteen year old self have her first experience of sex, as she was raped by a 21 year old man.
Long after those experiences were over, my cells were still carrying what had happened to me.
As I grew older, pleasure during sex was a foreign concept to me. I had learned to brace, hold tension, disconnect from my body entirely, and oftentimes feared intimacy and the pain that would follow.
My heart could know I was safe with my partner, but my body hadn't learned that intimacy no longer meant danger.
So I began the deeper work.
I learned to cultivate safety inside my own body again and to listen instead of override. I slowly began reconnecting with sensation and pleasure, and reclaiming the power that was taken from before I was ever old enough to choose.
And eventually, self pleasure and sexuality became a place of deep connection, aliveness, and profound healing.
Whose desires was I really living?
That journey deeply changed me. As my libido and body came fully online, intimacy became something I craved experiencing with my partner over and over again, but sex was only one piece of it.
Because when I started looking honestly at my relationships, I realized just how much of what I had called "my desires" had actually been handed to me.
I had been taught how a good woman should act, what marriage was supposed to look like, what I should tolerate, what being feminine meant, how much I should give and how independent I should be.
Who I was, and what I actually desired, was buried deep under family conditioning, religious indoctrination, good-girl programming, cultural expectations, relationship advice and ideas about masculine and feminine energy that plagued my social media feeds.
Everywhere I looked, someone had an opinion about who I should be and what I should want.
one day I finally got still enough to ask myself:
Is this what I actually want?
What kind of partnership allows me to remain fully myself?
What kind of intimacy makes my body soften instead of contract?
What kind of sex makes me feel more alive?
Who am I underneath all the roles I was taught to perform?
Those questions unraveled my entire world.
I looked at beliefs I had carried for decades, all the ways I had abandoned myself to keep relationships, the places I over gave, stayed silent and confused being needed with being loved.
The ways my old wounds quietly influenced who I chose, what I accepted, what I feared, and what I believed I deserved.
I examined all of it. Piece by piece I started dissecting and peeling back all these layers that had been placed upon me.
Until I finally got to the core of me.
Because there was something I had not yet fully understood.
That when I finally called in a man who could hold all of me, who was grounded, devoted and centered within himself. Who didn't need me, but chose me.
There was a new level of expansion my nervous system had to move through in order to actually receive this man and his love. Even though my heart knew this was the kind of love I had been asking for, my entire system was sounding every alarm it ever had.
Safety felt unfamiliar.
Consistency felt unfamiliar.
Being deeply seen felt unfamiliar.
Being loved without having to earn it felt unfamiliar.
And what I realized, is if your system has learned to associate love with uncertainty, intensity, earning, proving, chasing or emotional highs and lows, then secure love can initially feel almost... boring.
Today, I know myself in a way I never did before.
And this is where my greatest work began.
MY credentials & Lived Experience
My work today is informed by over 7 years of personal exploration, professional training, and hands-on experience in the worlds of somatics, sexuality, relationships, subconscious transformation, feminine energy work, and embodied healing. I've invested well over $100,000 in trainings, embodied over 3500 hours and continue to invest in becoming a more skilled, grounded, and embodied practitioner every day.
My training and certifications include Trauma Informed Somatic Bodywork, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Parts Work, Shamanic Womb Healing, USUI Holy Fire Reiki Master and ongoing training through Layla Martin's VITA™ Sex, Love & Relationship Coaching methodology.
But I don't believe credentials alone make someone powerful at this work.
For me, the deepest education has come through living it. Through relationships, motherhood, divorce, heartbreak, healing, sexual trauma, nervous-system work, rebuilding my relationship with myself, and continually putting the principles I teach into my own daily practice.
