The email that changed everything...

The email that changed everything...

My friend, I am taking you on a bit of a journey with me today and being VERY vulnerable with you.

First, I'm showing a difficult email I sent back in December of 2019. And then, I'm sharing with you the actual responses I got.

Let me tell you, sending this wasn't easy, receiving the feedback was even harder, but I think sharing my insecurities with the world in this way and showing you the exact emails I received back, makes me feel like I may just throw up.

Thank you for being kind as you read through this.

You can hear, more in depth, my reactions, feelings and how sending this email changed everything for me in the podcast episode #28 - My Goals for 2020. (If you haven't listened to it yet, I highly recommend you do! Here's a quick link for you! Episode #28

Here's the email, word for word, that I sent:


Dear friends and family,

Thank you so much for reading this email. This isn't an easy one for me to send, but it is extremely important to me, so I sincerely appreciate you investing your valuable time reading (and hopefully responding to) it. 
This email is going out to only a select group of people. Each of you knows me well, and I'm hoping you'll give me honest feedback about my strengths and most importantly, my weaknesses (aka areas of improvement.)
I've never done anything like this before, but I feel that in order for me to continue growing and improving as a person, I need to get a more accurate picture of how I'm showing up to the people that matter most to me. In order to become the person I need to be to create the life and contribute to others at the levels that I want, I need your feedback.
So, all I'm asking is that you take just a few minutes to email me back with what you honestly think are my top 2-3 areas of improvement. If it will make you feel better to also list my top 2-3 strengths (I'm sure it will make me feel better) :), you are definitely welcome to! That's it. And please don't sugarcoat it or hold anything back. I will not be offended by anything that you share. In fact, the more brutally honest you are, the more leverage it will give me to make positive changes in my life. 
Thank you again, and if there is anything I can do to add value to your life, please let me know.
With love and gratitude,


And, here are the responses I got back, word for word:

Response #1

You are brave to ask this. <3 
When we began the Mastermind, I wanted to be more connected and feel like you trusted me to be a day-to-day friend who you'd reach out to, check on, check in, and connect with between meetings...I realized you have a lot on your plate. Maybe more trust and empathy were what I wanted. I gathered that maybe wasn't why you created the Mastermind...but to uplevel. Does that make sense? 
Sending you love on your journey today. 
Response #2 
I have always been taught to start and a meeting with a high and so I will do just that. ;)
Strength: You care so much for your family and treat my baby as if she was your own. I appreciate that you don't spoil her rotten either and are great at teaching her manners.
Weakness: Sometimes I feel you take on so many things that its hard for you to take more time for yourself and us. (I do the same thing tbh...)
Strength: When you invest into something, you give 110%. You are very passionate about it and never half-ass it.
Weakness: Just because you are passionate about something, doesn't necessarily mean everyone else is or needs to be. It's great you give info on certain things (I.e. energy healing, your diet, etc) and awesome it works for you! But if not interested in trying it ourselves just leave it at that.
Strength: You would do anything for anyone. You are a very kind and compassionate woman who tries to find the good in everyone.
Weakness: You need to come see me more often :(
My last "high" is that I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing sister. I never ever feel the need to compete or live up to you. Although we are different ages, we are somewhat in the same stage of life and it's great having someone to go through it with.
Love you to the moon and back!
Response #3 
I love this about you— will you do me a favor and do the same for me?
I love how driven you are
Once you let someone in, you hook on and don’t let go 
You are passionate beyond measure about your causes you believe in 
Improvement areas from my angle of your life: 
Giving yourself mercy when needed 
Letting others help you 
Putting up walls to protect yourself (I can tell you have been hurt) 
I’m so appreciative to have met you in life. <3
Response #4 
Thank you for trusting me with this task. It takes a lot of guts to send out an email like this and you are super brave for doing it. :)
Also, filling this out is super hard. 
Top 3 Areas of Improvement:
1. I feel like you harbor a desperation to strive and succeed at the cost of your heart and possibly your well-being. 

2. Projecting a powerful and self reliant image is important, but do also balance that with visible recognition of the people who have helped you get where you are!

3. FULLY realizing your wholeness and enough-ness.
Top 3 Strengths:
1. Your warm and inviting spirit!

2. Running a business with strength and strategy.

3. Always searching for ways to learn and improve yourself. 
Response #5
I’d love to actually talk to you about this…..have some time next week?
(During this phone conversation she let me know that she viewed my biggest weaknesses as pursuing too much, overworking myself and not taking enough time off.)


I want to encourage you, friend, to consider sending this email that I did. I know, it’s scary to put yourself out there in that way, I know it's going to take courage. But if you are serious about growing in 2020 this is an amazing starting point!

Let me put it this way, you can’t smell your own bad breath, the only way you know it’s bad is when someone offers you a mint. And it takes those with a close relationship with you to let you know you stink. ;)

If you want to hear the full story of what this email changed in my life, listen in to podcast episode #28 -My goals for 2020... and the harsh email that helped me create them.

With love and gratitude,

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1 comment

I think this is so amazing, so many times we just assume what others think of us or how they do not think of us. In assuming this it sometimes puts us in a state of paranoia. To get the honest truth sets a base for everything, no more guessing or miscommunication, just a clear path to move forward. Love it.

Carla Snyders

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